ReflectionTo me, today is always the second most special day of the year, next to my birthday. In fact, while sometimes it might take time for me to recall what I did on my b-days, I can always tell exactly where I was & what I was doing on this day. What is today, you ask?? It's the day that Ayu's new album leaks onto the internet!! xD
Oddly enough, when I first heard about the album release, I wasn't that excited; you could almost say I wasn't excited at all. It's weird because I've loved all the singles she's released from this album -
glitter/fated, for instance, is my most-played Ayu single IN A LONG WHILE (minus the anomaly that is
HEAVEN). But in the back of my mind, I was doubtful that this would top her previous effort,
Secret, which ranks amongst my favourite Ayu albums. Which is why when the previews for
GUILTY came out, I was almost bracing myself for disappointment...
...but it never came. The songs blew me away, with "Marionette" & "untitled ~for her~" leaving the biggest impressions. And today, when I finally got to hear the whole album from top to bottom, I was so moved I had chills down my spine. Granted, this album isn't perfect - I know she can do better than to fit THREE instrumental tracks into the second half of the album. I understand she's just trying to give better transition between the dark songs & the happy ones, but as great as some of these interludes might sound, I feel that they destroy the flow of the album (& really, no matter how hard she tries, "glitter" will still stick out like a sore thumb xP). I was really hoping for at least one more new song, considering she's only had 5 single tracks to work around. On the other hand, I'm glad this album didn't fall into the trap that most can't seem to avoid - lopsided song distribution. True, "GUILTY" isn't necessarily her best title track (it just never takes off & leaves much to be desired), but at least Ayu was smart enough to put all but one of the single tracks in the first half to even things out, while leaving (IMHO) the standout tracks for the second half. When I was previewing the album, it came as a shock for me to find the last song to be my favourite, something that has never happened before (sorry, "JEWEL" still rules over "Secret" as my favourite on
Secret =P). Clearly, Ayu was intent on making us listen to the whole album before presenting the most personal, most expressive track she has to offer. One cannot listen to its lyrics & not feel her pain after the loss of a friend, & through these words I hope she finds solace. This album might be filled with feelings of guilt, sorrow, & confusion, but like always, Ayu lets us know that things will only get better. It's this sense of hope that makes me truly love the album, & I'm grateful that Ayu's allowed us to have a peek of what's underneath her seemingly flawless life. =)