Game
For most people, winning is about the prize. The tangible, physical object that instigated competition in the first place. But for me, winning is about the feeling of superiority. The emotional high that you get from knowing you are more capable than someone else at a certain task. The realization that you have just taken a piece of someone else's confidence & claimed it your own.
Like now, I still want to win. I don't want the prize...not at all. What I'm looking forward to is to be able to say, "You were so naïve to think that you could challenge me; that you could actually bring me down, through cheating AND using someone else as backup."
...or am I the one who's naïve??

Peace/Piece Of Mind
Saw this on a friend's blog & thought it would be fun so I did it...but who knew it could be so hard??
Write 20 things to different people that you have never told them.
They can be 20 different people or a few.
Don't say who each one is for.
1. I don't hate you. Or I'm trying not to. Even if there wasn't you, there probably would've been somebody else anyway. But that doesn't stop me from feeling the slightest bit of glee when I know that you're just delusional & oblivious. I can't wait for your bubble to burst.
2. Despite what you did to me, I still think about you once in a while. And somehow you always appear in my dreams, everytime with me doing something horrible back as revenge. I don't think I'm angry anymore though...I'm actually more afraid that YOU would hate ME. I have no idea why...
3. You're still awfully cute. I wish we could be friends again. Although I feel that it might a bit awkward.
4. I don't know what to do with you. I know that we never would have worked out anyway...things are probably better the way they are now. But somehow, I'm just very keen on having you to admit to certain things that you still can't seem to admit. I need to know that I've been right all along.
5. You're more than a best friend to me. We've been through so much together & I'm grateful for having you here beside me all along. I used to think that I was the more dependent one in the relationship...but I'm glad to see that now we're more or less even. =)
6. Seriously, get real here. You're either just plain stupid or in blatant denial. How can you not know??
7. You're not happy & that's not what you want. Who the hell are you kiddin'?? You're not fooling anybody but yourself.
8. What happened to us?? I miss spending time with you. You're still the one that makes me laugh the hardest. I hope we'll get back there sometime...
9. Sometimes I just want to hug you & never let go. Or have YOU hug ME & never let go. =)
10. I pity you. You try too hard to be something you're not. And what's worse is that we can ALL see that you're trying but failing miserably at it.
11. I want to save you.
12. I love you more than anybody else in the world, but you have got to stop being so tempermental...I hate fighting with you!! There's a reason why so many people (including me) are intimidated by you. And please stop being such a drama queen. Learn to let things go & you'll be much happier.
13. I really care for you, more so that I ever did before, but due to the circumstances it's a lil hard to show. And just for the record, you DO annoy me a lot at times. And you're just SO boring...but thank you for trying.
14. I can't believe we used to be such good friends. 'Cause right now I don't even want to talk to you or see you anymore. Stop complaining about the world & start living like everybody else. Stop being such a needy brat. And you'll never hear me say "I told you so" ever again. I'm just sick & tired of your immaturity. GROW UP.
15. You've really changed me. You've made me feel things that I've never felt before & never thought I'd feel. It's scary but at the same time it's nice to know that I've moved past a lot of things. Thank you!!
16. Snap out of it. You know you deserve much better than this.
17. You puzzle me. And I never expected to have this kinda relationship with you. You make great company...but is that all there is??
18. You're the second most boring person I know. Yet somehow we've managed to keep what we have for quite some time. I swear it's the zsa zsa zsu...'cause honestly, I never know what to say to you. You give the worst feedbacks & what you consider "interesting" can cure insomnia. Seriously.
19. We haven't talked in the longest time, but surprisingly, I don't really care. I guess you just changed a lot, & I'm not necessarily fond of the change. I'm very proud of you for becoming so much stronger though.
20. I really don't like how you'd only turn to me when you've run out of friends to seek help from. I feel like I'm used, which is sad because I really do care for you. Although I have to say I don't care as much anymore 'cause I'm just tired of being a backup. And just so you know, I DO think you're stupid for doing what you did. I was just being nice & didn't wanna stab further into the wound.

Don't ask me who's who. I won't tell. So don't even bother. =P

A Blown Fuse
Wow, I snapped. I didn't think I still had that in me. I recall the days when I was the ultra spoiled brat who picked a fight whenever things didn't go my way. Eventually, I realized that it was very tiring to fight with others, especially with the ones I love, so I began to take things in. I guess we all have a limit. And mine's about...4 or 5 years. Seriously I can't remember the last time I lashed out like this...but It was definitely during high school, before life gave me a good slap in the face. The funny thing is, today wasn't even a bad day (well, until the incident occurred), & lately my life has been better than ever. I even managed to get through the two most stressful weeks I've ever had without pissing anybody off...& NOW, when everything's smooth sailing, I pick a fight?? Where's the logic in that??
I don't know if I feel better after letting it all out...a part of me feels really guilty about the things I said, yet at the same time I'm glad I let my parents know what's on my mind. But the one thing that I'm sure of is that I DO have the best parents in the world. No matter what happens, they're always so understanding & supportive of everything that I do. I must've done something really good in my past life to deserve parents like these. Thanks mom & dad.

Face The Change
You know what...a lil scruff actually ain't so bad. ;)