Bring It On
No, it's not a competition...but I win anyway. You know why?? Because I have what you don't have - patience.

Fill In The Blank
As a hardcore Ayu fan, I've grown to make the weirdest word associations. Examples: the word "vogue" is never used without "far away" & "seasons" also popping up in my head; when I hear "rainbow", I don't think a spectrum of colours...I think sea water blue; "inspire" goes with "game", the saying "no way" sounds unfinished, "duty" is a caged leopard (& at other times, a very naked woman swimming in the mud, lol), & "moments" reminds me of flowers.
Thank God that I still relate "evolution" to Darwin. Or else I'd be in big trouble. =P

The Frustrated
Damn, talk about missing the perfect chance. I just don't function properly when you're around...right now I can't even remember exactly what I did, but I can tell for sure that they were the wrong things, all done for the wrong reasons. Ahhhhh motherfucker fuck shit...
Well, at least I know I'm moving closer to where I wanna be.

Setting Boundaries
Maybe what we need to pull the two of us closer together...is to push each other away.

Enigma
It's nice to have someone who knows you so well that you can always rely on them to complete your thoughts for you. You'd never have to tell the whole story; just give them bits & pieces & they'll see the full picture.
And being the lucky bastard that I am, I have two. For two nights in a row I spent hours & hours chatting with two of my greatest friends, both of whom I've never really had the chance to talk to, so earnestly, in a very long time. I missed this; I missed it so much I didn't want either conversation to end. It's also interesting that how in the course of one day, my state of mind has completely changed - I went from hopeful to hopeless. The first convo was filled with choices; I was troubled, but in a good way. I had a win-win situation, & I couldn't have felt more in control of what's to come. A day later, desperation & frustration ruled my mind. I was both disappointed & angry at myself for the way I've handled everything so far. I began to doubt my previous judgements: did I really put myself through denial?? Did I make things look a certain way to lessen the pain?? And if I did, are those decisions coming back to bite me in the ass now?? And here comes the questions.
I wouldn't necessarily call what happened earlier today the dropping of a bombshell; after all, I didn't learn anything that I didn't already know. But it still bothers me, even though I've been proven right, for God knows how many times it is now. I just don't know why I'm still hanging on when there was nothing solid for me to hold on to in the first place. A 6 versus an 8...isn't the choice obvious??

Me Against The Music
There's this man who plays the violin every Friday morning at Union station. He's exceptional - last time he played "Memory" top to bottom doing double-stops (the technique of playing two strings at once...& as a violinist I can tell you it's one of the hardest skills to master). Each week as I pass by, I feel like giving him some change. But there's always something that stops me from doing so: either I spent it all on hashbrowns, too many people were in the way, or I was just too lazy to get money out. This week though, I finally made my way through the crowds, took my bag off, unzipped the change section, & gave him a loonie. I know that it might not be much; but the smile he gave me (he was still playing as he looked up at me) made it clear that it meant something. And it hit me right then & there that, sometimes, if you lose the moment, you lose it forever. You can't always bet on having a second chance; because more often than others, you won't get one.
EDIT: Because of this man, I decided to take out my violin & play for the first time since I moved here. And damn, are my fingers rusty...& I can no longer remember the pieces that I once spent hours & hours memorizing...=\ (It's still a great way to relieve stress though)

Dream Realized
Sometimes, despite the excruciating amount of work that we have (which often puts our sanity to the test), being an MGB student kicks ass. Today, for instance, I had the best lab, EVER. Those who are taking 377 with me will know that bacteria are my new love, at times even more so than genetics...so imagine what it means to me to have the two combined into one lab. I was already very excited about it last night, & when I was actually doing it today, I think I smirked throughout, lol. I was in such a good mood I could care less when my lab partner sorta screwed up the dilutions (although I probably would snap at her never...she's very nice & hardworking). And really, it's not just about the material. First of all, my TA rocks. She might not be the easiest marker (still bitter about some of my lab marks...=P), but she's a heck load of fun. Not to mention helpful...she's always so encouraging & never bitches even if you blow the lab apart. Oh, & somehow, I was the first one she remembered the name of. I wonder what I did to leave such a big impression on her...=P And what's even cooler is that I'm getting to really know the people in my program. Some, I've already become aquainted to in the past 2 years, but now I'm starting to know even more of them....& they're fun too. And what's best is that they all share the same passion that I do. What really amazes me though, is that there is no sense of competition between us. Instead, we all seem to enjoy each other's company: making jokes, sharing equipments, helping out other groups who are in need...not exactly what you'd see in the typical "dog-eat-dog" university lifestyle. And that, makes me happy. =)
Got out of lab early today, & while I was waiting for the GO train, this girl in almost all my classes, whom I also see all the time once off the train, finally apporached me, & we chatted until boarding. As I've expected, she's also in MGB, & in a matter of seconds we began to bitch about how tough life is being in this program. Seriously, unless you've experienced it, you have NO IDEA what it's like to have two labs EVERY WEEK. I'm sure each program's got its own hardships; all of my friends are studying hard to do well this year, & I'm not surprised, 'cause 3rd year IS difficult. But the difference is, you work hard in MGB just to STAY ALIVE, as opposed to an attempt to get higher marks. As my new friend here has said, "We don't want to leave things to the last minute...it's just that we HAVE to." I think that sums it up real well.
I'm not complaining...the constant cache of work has kept me continously motivated, & I've never been more determined to do well. The only thing is that once in a while, I wish I could have some time for myself. Even now, when my midterms are over & done with, I still have lab reports to write, readings to do, & if time permits, maybe some studying ahead for the exams. One person's only got so much energy ya know...although I must say I'm surprised at how far I've come. And nothing, NOTHING, beats the feeling of surpassing your own expectations.

Time To Prime
New layout is in the works...it took me a week to figure out how to incoporate this picture that I've been dying to use since forever (someone here has seen it, & said it was beautiful =P), & while I was going home on the GO bus today, I finally figured it out (it's interesting where I get my ideas). And while I was napping, I got to work more on the details in my head (...seriously). So I began my actual "production" about an hour ago, had some detours, & ended up with something that I'm fairly satisified with. It's definitely not the best I've made, but it's something different; it won't be just a change of the pic at the top this time. It's still not done though...maybe by the weekend it will be...??
Oh, & it turns out I didn't lose it all. It was just hidden. It's all coming back to me now (no, not Celine!! =P)...

Gates Of Heaven
Finally, time of my own. Time where I don't have to worry about midterms, labs, essays, or anything school-related. Time where I can relax & catch up with my family & friends. Time where I can sit down & figure out what I really want, & the way I should go to attain it. Time where I can look back & say, "Hey, I did it" & know that I've only grown to become stronger.
Time where I know each minute will only be better than the one before. =)