12.31.2003
Report Card
It's finally time to see how I fared this year!!
01. Almost did...but almost doesn't count, so nope
02. Sorta did, I'd give myself half a check
03. Check (what a pleasant surprise)
04. Check (I mean, I'd have to master this one before the one above, so)
05. Nope
06. Uh-huh
07. I'm not too sure, lol, since I didn't really check my marks
08. ...nope...x_x
2003 was quite a year...I'd describe it as "different, but not foreign". It had drama, lots of it too, but nothing that I haven't visited before. In the past 12 months, there was laughter, & there were tears; there were friends, & there were enemies; there was love, & there was hate; but most importantly, there was growth. I'm once again grateful for all the experience that I gained this year; a survivor I am, & happy I'll be. =)
It's finally time to see how I fared this year!!
01. Almost did...but almost doesn't count, so nope
02. Sorta did, I'd give myself half a check
03. Check (what a pleasant surprise)
04. Check (I mean, I'd have to master this one before the one above, so)
05. Nope
06. Uh-huh
07. I'm not too sure, lol, since I didn't really check my marks
08. ...nope...x_x
2003 was quite a year...I'd describe it as "different, but not foreign". It had drama, lots of it too, but nothing that I haven't visited before. In the past 12 months, there was laughter, & there were tears; there were friends, & there were enemies; there was love, & there was hate; but most importantly, there was growth. I'm once again grateful for all the experience that I gained this year; a survivor I am, & happy I'll be. =)
12.30.2003
Memorial Address
I was planning to let myself calm down a lil before posting, but I figured that I'll never be...at least not for a few days. So here it is, my memoir, of the one & only Anita Mui.
Anita was the first idol that I've had. Ever since I was old enough to realize what music is, she was there, showing me what a truly talented musician is made of. I remember clearly that I used to mouth every word & imitate every move when she performed on TV. Dazzling, she was - and she still is. Imagine a 5 year-old's brain full of nothing but the lyrics of her songs. Indeed, Anita single-handedly brought me into the whole idea of fandom. Even back then, when I hardly knew anything about the world, she told me what it meant to admire somebody, to have a role model to look up to. Not that I ever really wanted to become a singer, but her glamour on stage did instigate that thought, just so that maybe for once, I can be up there with her. This silly & childish thought was of course never fulfilled, but I did get to shake her hand during a concert of hers when I was 5 or 6. That night left a permanent mark in my mind...definitely one of the most remarkable moments of my life. Unfortunately, I never saw her in person again. But she still continued to shine on TV & brighten my day everytime she was there.
When I found out she had cancer, I wasn't surprised - it was hereditary, her sister also died the same way. I just prayed that she'd pull through, & it came as a relief when she made it all sound okay. But as time passed & more & more news of her failing health surfaced, I got worried. On Sunday I was just reading about how she's already stopped her chemo treatments as they no longer helped. I knew right then & there that she'll be gone soon, but lil did I know that it'll only be two days. A lot of ppl (my mom included) consider it a mistake for her to work so hard in the past few months despite her conditions. As much as I wanted to see her rest, I could understand - she really wanted to show the world that she'll not back down, that she won't disappoint her fans, & that, even if she were to die, she'd leave us w/ her most glorious side (sure, lots of ppl are saying that she needs the money, but whatever, I'll remember Anita the way I choose to). I'm still wondering whether she did it because she knew she was dying, or the concerts themselves drove her there. Either way, what's done is done...she'll never come back no matter how much we hope she would. All we can do now is to have her spirit live on by keeping her in our hearts. And I know that she'll be in mine forever.
When Leslie died, I felt that a big part of my childhood was gone. Even though I wasn't the biggest fan, I still cried, for it seemed like the happiest days of my life have been taken away from me. And by then I knew that if Anita was the one to go, I'd be devastated, 'cause she was the person who had the greatest impact on me as a child. And when it happened today, I immediately fell into a state of hysterical depression, & I cried like I never did before. Tears still rise when I remind myself of what it was like when she was alive. I just can't believe that she had to leave so abruptly...
What pains me the most is how she was never able to find the love of her life before it ended. Maybe it was the media that made her sound so desperate & "needy", but from the few public, "heartfelt" talks that she had with her fans, I could feel that she really wanted someone there. It was such a simple thing but somehow, it was something she could never have. And I've always thought she'd have the rest of her life to change that. Too bad I was wrong...but it's nice to know that at the very end, she wasn't alone. She had all her closest friends around before she died & now that she's gone, she'll be able to reunite with her beloved sister & best friend Leslie. It's not the best of endings, but it's at least not the most tragic.
Anita, I love you. Rest in peace.
I was planning to let myself calm down a lil before posting, but I figured that I'll never be...at least not for a few days. So here it is, my memoir, of the one & only Anita Mui.
Anita was the first idol that I've had. Ever since I was old enough to realize what music is, she was there, showing me what a truly talented musician is made of. I remember clearly that I used to mouth every word & imitate every move when she performed on TV. Dazzling, she was - and she still is. Imagine a 5 year-old's brain full of nothing but the lyrics of her songs. Indeed, Anita single-handedly brought me into the whole idea of fandom. Even back then, when I hardly knew anything about the world, she told me what it meant to admire somebody, to have a role model to look up to. Not that I ever really wanted to become a singer, but her glamour on stage did instigate that thought, just so that maybe for once, I can be up there with her. This silly & childish thought was of course never fulfilled, but I did get to shake her hand during a concert of hers when I was 5 or 6. That night left a permanent mark in my mind...definitely one of the most remarkable moments of my life. Unfortunately, I never saw her in person again. But she still continued to shine on TV & brighten my day everytime she was there.
When I found out she had cancer, I wasn't surprised - it was hereditary, her sister also died the same way. I just prayed that she'd pull through, & it came as a relief when she made it all sound okay. But as time passed & more & more news of her failing health surfaced, I got worried. On Sunday I was just reading about how she's already stopped her chemo treatments as they no longer helped. I knew right then & there that she'll be gone soon, but lil did I know that it'll only be two days. A lot of ppl (my mom included) consider it a mistake for her to work so hard in the past few months despite her conditions. As much as I wanted to see her rest, I could understand - she really wanted to show the world that she'll not back down, that she won't disappoint her fans, & that, even if she were to die, she'd leave us w/ her most glorious side (sure, lots of ppl are saying that she needs the money, but whatever, I'll remember Anita the way I choose to). I'm still wondering whether she did it because she knew she was dying, or the concerts themselves drove her there. Either way, what's done is done...she'll never come back no matter how much we hope she would. All we can do now is to have her spirit live on by keeping her in our hearts. And I know that she'll be in mine forever.
When Leslie died, I felt that a big part of my childhood was gone. Even though I wasn't the biggest fan, I still cried, for it seemed like the happiest days of my life have been taken away from me. And by then I knew that if Anita was the one to go, I'd be devastated, 'cause she was the person who had the greatest impact on me as a child. And when it happened today, I immediately fell into a state of hysterical depression, & I cried like I never did before. Tears still rise when I remind myself of what it was like when she was alive. I just can't believe that she had to leave so abruptly...
What pains me the most is how she was never able to find the love of her life before it ended. Maybe it was the media that made her sound so desperate & "needy", but from the few public, "heartfelt" talks that she had with her fans, I could feel that she really wanted someone there. It was such a simple thing but somehow, it was something she could never have. And I've always thought she'd have the rest of her life to change that. Too bad I was wrong...but it's nice to know that at the very end, she wasn't alone. She had all her closest friends around before she died & now that she's gone, she'll be able to reunite with her beloved sister & best friend Leslie. It's not the best of endings, but it's at least not the most tragic.
Anita, I love you. Rest in peace.
12.28.2003
Blink Of An Eye
I just tried to recall what I did in the past 18 days of my holidays, & honestly, I can't even remember half of them...xD I only remember going out a lot, I think 4 (as of yet) is the number of days that I actually stayed home & did absolutely nothing. Where did all the time go?? This has gotta be the fastest-moving break I've EVER had, & I don't even know how that came about!!
One more week...it'll most likely (& hopefully) be spent studying (glycolysis here I come)...& maybe some outings, if time permits & I still have money left...=P
I just tried to recall what I did in the past 18 days of my holidays, & honestly, I can't even remember half of them...xD I only remember going out a lot, I think 4 (as of yet) is the number of days that I actually stayed home & did absolutely nothing. Where did all the time go?? This has gotta be the fastest-moving break I've EVER had, & I don't even know how that came about!!
One more week...it'll most likely (& hopefully) be spent studying (glycolysis here I come)...& maybe some outings, if time permits & I still have money left...=P
White Love
At first I was gonna ignore it...but after I kept reading about it in magazines & what not (even the Kelly album that I bought yesterday came w/ a ticket for its draw!!), I can no longer lie to myself...
I really want one (along w/ GT4, of course)...ToT
![[PlayStation 2 (Winter Limited Edition)]](ps2white.jpg)
At first I was gonna ignore it...but after I kept reading about it in magazines & what not (even the Kelly album that I bought yesterday came w/ a ticket for its draw!!), I can no longer lie to myself...
I really want one (along w/ GT4, of course)...ToT
12.27.2003
Nemesis
Last weekend of the year, & I probably had the most boring one I've had in a long time. xP Was planning to start studying for biochem, but I just looked at the first page of my notes & began to vomit (okay not that bad, but honestly nothing sank in). After some ppl (who were late) came to check out my house, I went to the new place again w/ my parents AND my uncle, aunt, & cousin (I've got pictures, but I left the camera in the car, so will post them later...maybe). Then, despite my better judgement, I drove to Pacific (which sane person would go there on the Boxing day weekend?? Needless to say, parking was a bitch) to buy Kelly's best collection, which was probably the only good thing that happened to me today. =P My friend who was supposed to call me out for dinner didn't, so I had to stay home & eat crappy food (more like leftover from lunch). By the time it hit 10, I realized that I should've called someone over (parents were out playing mahjong), even though absolutely nobody was in reach (where did everyone go?? O_o). I did enjoy the evening listening to Kelly though...I'm dying to write a review but I say that all the time & most never even get started (case in point: Amuro's "STYLE"...& what about Ayu's "Memorial address"?? xP), so let's just leave that as a maybe.
This is one of those "diary/journal" entries that you hardly see from here. Tells you how bored I really am. =P
EDIT: Pictures up. Again, go here to see them.
Last weekend of the year, & I probably had the most boring one I've had in a long time. xP Was planning to start studying for biochem, but I just looked at the first page of my notes & began to vomit (okay not that bad, but honestly nothing sank in). After some ppl (who were late) came to check out my house, I went to the new place again w/ my parents AND my uncle, aunt, & cousin (I've got pictures, but I left the camera in the car, so will post them later...maybe). Then, despite my better judgement, I drove to Pacific (which sane person would go there on the Boxing day weekend?? Needless to say, parking was a bitch) to buy Kelly's best collection, which was probably the only good thing that happened to me today. =P My friend who was supposed to call me out for dinner didn't, so I had to stay home & eat crappy food (more like leftover from lunch). By the time it hit 10, I realized that I should've called someone over (parents were out playing mahjong), even though absolutely nobody was in reach (where did everyone go?? O_o). I did enjoy the evening listening to Kelly though...I'm dying to write a review but I say that all the time & most never even get started (case in point: Amuro's "STYLE"...& what about Ayu's "Memorial address"?? xP), so let's just leave that as a maybe.
This is one of those "diary/journal" entries that you hardly see from here. Tells you how bored I really am. =P
EDIT: Pictures up. Again, go here to see them.
12.20.2003
Under Construction
After a few weeks of my parents bugging me, I finally went to check out the new house with them today. Last time I went was about a month ago, before exams started choking me & giving me less than enough time to breathe. My parents, on the other hand, have been visiting every weekend. So to them, the place didn't look drastically different - but just enough to make them awe, again, for maybe the 1-millionth time. =P As for me...I was only there to take pictures. But I must say a tinge of happiness did rise inside me once I went upstairs & saw my "room". =) Anyway, a picture speaks a thousand words, & I have 15, so you do the math. Check them out if you're interested.
![[Welcome!]](newhouse.jpg)
P.S. Here's a lil inside joke for the Ayu fans:
On our way to the house, we drove past a farm field. Just so happens that at the time I had my digi cam in my hand & "Because of You" was playing through my headphones. I, obviously, saw that as a sign & could not help but to act this out (yup, with the picture-taking & everything...it was near perfect imitation except that I wasn't on a train; also, my camera was a Canon, not a Lumix; oh, & I was nowhere as well-dressed as Ayu was...& where are the kids when I need one??). xD
After a few weeks of my parents bugging me, I finally went to check out the new house with them today. Last time I went was about a month ago, before exams started choking me & giving me less than enough time to breathe. My parents, on the other hand, have been visiting every weekend. So to them, the place didn't look drastically different - but just enough to make them awe, again, for maybe the 1-millionth time. =P As for me...I was only there to take pictures. But I must say a tinge of happiness did rise inside me once I went upstairs & saw my "room". =) Anyway, a picture speaks a thousand words, & I have 15, so you do the math. Check them out if you're interested.
P.S. Here's a lil inside joke for the Ayu fans:
On our way to the house, we drove past a farm field. Just so happens that at the time I had my digi cam in my hand & "Because of You" was playing through my headphones. I, obviously, saw that as a sign & could not help but to act this out (yup, with the picture-taking & everything...it was near perfect imitation except that I wasn't on a train; also, my camera was a Canon, not a Lumix; oh, & I was nowhere as well-dressed as Ayu was...& where are the kids when I need one??). xD
12.18.2003
Angel's Song
Boys & girls, I've got a new project!! This time, it'd be trying to master playing Ayu's "Dearest" on the violin. =P My goal is to perfect it in 3 days (& if I get to concentrate real well, 2)...to my fellow Ayu fans out there, maybe I'll make a recording or something when it's nice & polished...=)
Wait...I still don't know where my microphone is...
Boys & girls, I've got a new project!! This time, it'd be trying to master playing Ayu's "Dearest" on the violin. =P My goal is to perfect it in 3 days (& if I get to concentrate real well, 2)...to my fellow Ayu fans out there, maybe I'll make a recording or something when it's nice & polished...=)
Wait...I still don't know where my microphone is...
Grateful Journey
I think I'm cursed...everytime I come home from watching Lord of the Rings, I feel like crap. It's not like the movies weren't good...very much the opposite, in fact. It's just that somehow, there's always some kind of emotional stigma that bugs me to no end. And it's different every year...
I wish we could've watched the movie together...but I chose not to, because we really shouldn't. We needed the distance more than anything else. As for BJ & Cars...I'm glad that we're still together after all these years. We might be the only three left from the original gang, but that only shows how strong our friendship is. You guys are always there for me at the most interesting of times...first there was dragonboat, & now there's this. I don't know what that means (lol), but let's just say that I wouldn't be able to sit here & laugh about what happened if it weren't for you two. Thank you so so much. =)
I think I'm cursed...everytime I come home from watching Lord of the Rings, I feel like crap. It's not like the movies weren't good...very much the opposite, in fact. It's just that somehow, there's always some kind of emotional stigma that bugs me to no end. And it's different every year...
I wish we could've watched the movie together...but I chose not to, because we really shouldn't. We needed the distance more than anything else. As for BJ & Cars...I'm glad that we're still together after all these years. We might be the only three left from the original gang, but that only shows how strong our friendship is. You guys are always there for me at the most interesting of times...first there was dragonboat, & now there's this. I don't know what that means (lol), but let's just say that I wouldn't be able to sit here & laugh about what happened if it weren't for you two. Thank you so so much. =)
12.17.2003
Third Time Isn't Always The Charm
As promised, the review on EXILE's new album, "EXILE ENTERTAINMENT". (sorry for the delay...as mentioned previously, I've been playing FFX-2 obsessively & therefore don't got much time left...=P)
When I first found out that EXILE was releasing a new album, I wasn't all that excited. To be honest, none of their new singles really took me the way "We Will" or "song for you" did. But "Eternal..." was close enough, & that generated some anticipation inside me (which was already quite a feat, considering that I was also dying over the release of Ayu & Amuro's new albums). Either way, as soon as I saw it available for d/l I grabbed it right away (I'm still hoping they'd import it here like they did last time...O_o). Listened to it from the top to bottom, & this was my face when I finished ---> =|
The album is unimpressive for one reason - almost all the songs are recycled from the singles. 7 new tracks, 2 of which are instrumentals, that leaves us with 5 songs. Of the 5, 2 were already previously released in one way or another (on compilation albums). So really, 3 is what we get. Sounds just like Mika's "LOVE" I know, the only difference is that I've actually checked out every single song that EXILE's released since their last album. So this album, to me, is just simply a bunch of "been there, done that" tracks put together. Very disappointing, I must say. Aside from that, the single songs ARE good. It amazes me how EXILE has managed to keep up their sales despite they released FOUR singles AND an album 5 weeks in a row. It really shows how popular they've become since "Styles Of Beyond". Can't say I'm surprised, Shun & Atsushi are indeed great singers, & the dancers are also masters at what they do. What surprises me though, is that "Together" is the song that brought them to new heights. Honestly, 'till this day I still think it's a blatant (& not even half as good) rip-off of "Kiss you", an old single that never hit it big 'cause it didn't get the promotion it deserved. Either way, "Together" is still a pretty good song, it just gets a lil generic by the 3rd time you hear it. As mentioned before, "Eternal..."'s great, definitely my favourite track on the album. "ki·zu·na" would be my favourite fast track, it's got the typical EXILE beat that I love. "Choo Choo TRAIN" is the song that I'd never thought I like, but I ended up doing so anyway, just couldn't resist its joyfulness (it's so perfect for parties). xP "O'ver" is the weakest of the 4 new singles, but I've grown to like it too. The other 3 tracks from "Breezin'~Together~" also made their way to the album (much to my surprise), but really I think "BLUE" should've been left out. As for "LET ME LUV U DOWN"...may I say "worst song ever"?? =P
This review is getting too long, so let me just make short comments for each of the remaining songs...=P "New Jack Swing" - weird, but nice beat; "Believe" - would've been a great ballad, but something's missing, & I don't know what; "Be Mine" - erm...interesting compilation, LISA rules as always, Koda Kumi's fine too, just the song itself isn't great...what a waste of talents; "Unlimited" - nice teeny boppy shit, I like; & finally, "M&A" - the only new track that I love. It's a great ballad, though a tad bit typical...but man, Shun & Atsushi really are good at serenading. =)
To sum things up, may I say one thing?? I've always been reluctant to use this analogy, but really...EXILE is very much Japan's own *NSYNC. xD
P.S. Oh ya, I'd give anything if somebody can tell me (with 100% certainty) what "M&A" stands for...O_o
As promised, the review on EXILE's new album, "EXILE ENTERTAINMENT". (sorry for the delay...as mentioned previously, I've been playing FFX-2 obsessively & therefore don't got much time left...=P)
When I first found out that EXILE was releasing a new album, I wasn't all that excited. To be honest, none of their new singles really took me the way "We Will" or "song for you" did. But "Eternal..." was close enough, & that generated some anticipation inside me (which was already quite a feat, considering that I was also dying over the release of Ayu & Amuro's new albums). Either way, as soon as I saw it available for d/l I grabbed it right away (I'm still hoping they'd import it here like they did last time...O_o). Listened to it from the top to bottom, & this was my face when I finished ---> =|
The album is unimpressive for one reason - almost all the songs are recycled from the singles. 7 new tracks, 2 of which are instrumentals, that leaves us with 5 songs. Of the 5, 2 were already previously released in one way or another (on compilation albums). So really, 3 is what we get. Sounds just like Mika's "LOVE" I know, the only difference is that I've actually checked out every single song that EXILE's released since their last album. So this album, to me, is just simply a bunch of "been there, done that" tracks put together. Very disappointing, I must say. Aside from that, the single songs ARE good. It amazes me how EXILE has managed to keep up their sales despite they released FOUR singles AND an album 5 weeks in a row. It really shows how popular they've become since "Styles Of Beyond". Can't say I'm surprised, Shun & Atsushi are indeed great singers, & the dancers are also masters at what they do. What surprises me though, is that "Together" is the song that brought them to new heights. Honestly, 'till this day I still think it's a blatant (& not even half as good) rip-off of "Kiss you", an old single that never hit it big 'cause it didn't get the promotion it deserved. Either way, "Together" is still a pretty good song, it just gets a lil generic by the 3rd time you hear it. As mentioned before, "Eternal..."'s great, definitely my favourite track on the album. "ki·zu·na" would be my favourite fast track, it's got the typical EXILE beat that I love. "Choo Choo TRAIN" is the song that I'd never thought I like, but I ended up doing so anyway, just couldn't resist its joyfulness (it's so perfect for parties). xP "O'ver" is the weakest of the 4 new singles, but I've grown to like it too. The other 3 tracks from "Breezin'~Together~" also made their way to the album (much to my surprise), but really I think "BLUE" should've been left out. As for "LET ME LUV U DOWN"...may I say "worst song ever"?? =P
This review is getting too long, so let me just make short comments for each of the remaining songs...=P "New Jack Swing" - weird, but nice beat; "Believe" - would've been a great ballad, but something's missing, & I don't know what; "Be Mine" - erm...interesting compilation, LISA rules as always, Koda Kumi's fine too, just the song itself isn't great...what a waste of talents; "Unlimited" - nice teeny boppy shit, I like; & finally, "M&A" - the only new track that I love. It's a great ballad, though a tad bit typical...but man, Shun & Atsushi really are good at serenading. =)
To sum things up, may I say one thing?? I've always been reluctant to use this analogy, but really...EXILE is very much Japan's own *NSYNC. xD
P.S. Oh ya, I'd give anything if somebody can tell me (with 100% certainty) what "M&A" stands for...O_o
12.12.2003
Feel Fine!
Yes, my Xmas break has already started...like, two days ago. =P I just haven't updated my blog 'cause I've been too busy playing Final Fantasy X-2, lol. I'll post as soon as I can get my hands off the controller...
Possible entries to come: review on EXILE's "EXILE ENTERTAINMENT", Amuro's "STYLE", & on FFX-2 itself!!
Yes, my Xmas break has already started...like, two days ago. =P I just haven't updated my blog 'cause I've been too busy playing Final Fantasy X-2, lol. I'll post as soon as I can get my hands off the controller...
Possible entries to come: review on EXILE's "EXILE ENTERTAINMENT", Amuro's "STYLE", & on FFX-2 itself!!
12.09.2003
Too Much
Argh why the hell do people have to tell me that they think the mysterious white liquid in Ayu's new PV is semen?? Now I can't look at it the same way again...xP
Argh why the hell do people have to tell me that they think the mysterious white liquid in Ayu's new PV is semen?? Now I can't look at it the same way again...xP
12.05.2003
Let The Music Heal Your Soul
Just as I thought I couldn't possibly get myself out of the depression whirlpool, some heartfelt singing actually brought me back into the game. Once I started studying again, in fact, things began to clear themselves up. I know what I want, & I know just exactly how to get what I want. It's all very simple - all school-unrelated thoughts, move aside please; right now, your future is more important than your present.
Just as I thought I couldn't possibly get myself out of the depression whirlpool, some heartfelt singing actually brought me back into the game. Once I started studying again, in fact, things began to clear themselves up. I know what I want, & I know just exactly how to get what I want. It's all very simple - all school-unrelated thoughts, move aside please; right now, your future is more important than your present.
12.04.2003
A Break...Or A Breakdown?
Had such horrible dreams last night, I almost woke up crying...seriously, last thing I need during this super stressful week before exams!! Even though I managed to make a day off for myself (both bio & chem are reviewing, so I might as well stay home & do that myself), I don't think my mood is helping me to get into the studying mode at all...<sigh> I have the urge to go to school just to, you know, see the one person that I want to see. But I know I shouldn't...for many reasons, with failing my exams being last on the list. I really should stop waiting, & I really don't want to wait...but as my friend Bons told me last night, I'm already doing it. And I hate myself for it.
Had such horrible dreams last night, I almost woke up crying...seriously, last thing I need during this super stressful week before exams!! Even though I managed to make a day off for myself (both bio & chem are reviewing, so I might as well stay home & do that myself), I don't think my mood is helping me to get into the studying mode at all...<sigh> I have the urge to go to school just to, you know, see the one person that I want to see. But I know I shouldn't...for many reasons, with failing my exams being last on the list. I really should stop waiting, & I really don't want to wait...but as my friend Bons told me last night, I'm already doing it. And I hate myself for it.
